These last couple of weeks for me have been pretty rough. I'm not going to explain everything...but just know that it was the lowest I've been in a long time. I had probably hit rock bottom...and I'm not sure even Brandon knew how depressed I was. I just wasn't happy with anything. Well, this past Sunday was fast and testimony Sunday. Brandon and I got into a fight before going to church, so I was in an even bigger mess than before. I didn't want to have anything to do with the church at that moment because everyone was expressing how happy they were and how much they knew Heavenly Father loved them. I just sat there and listened...thinking my own depressing thoughts. As we got closer to the end, a women stood up and bore her testimony on reading the Book of Mormon in 60 days (it had been a challenge between her sister and her). She expressed how reading the Book of Mormon made her burdens feel light and she wasn't as sad as she had been before. She challenged the rest of the congregation to another 60 day challenge she was starting. The rest of the meeting I thought about her words and finally decided I needed to give it a try.
It was a battle, at first, to get started...always thinking there were better things to do then sit down and read the scriptures (see I was bad...), but I finally sat down while David took a nap and opened them and started to read. Today has been the 3rd day and let me tell you, I feel great! The problems are still there but I know now they can be overcome. I don't feel as frustrated or depressed...I know David enjoys me yelling at him less...and I can feel Heavenly Father's love for me. I marvel at the goodness of Heavenly Father. Even though we might not be doing what we are supposed to be doing, as soon as we show a little bit of faith and start to turn back to Him, He is right there ready to pour out love and blessings to you. If only people could be as forgiving as He is.
I still have very far to go, but I plan on sticking with it and I know my life will be mine again.
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